It's All Just a Game
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Or is it?


"So Mario. I've got a good question for you," said Sonic as he and the legendary bro were walking down the path to Yoshi's house. "I've got a matter that I feel I need to discuss with someone, but I'm really, really nervous."

Mario stopped in his tracks and turned around with a perplexed expression. It was the first time he had ever heard Sonic say something as negative and out-of-character as this. The situation must be serious. "Okay, you can tell me anything, Sonic."

"It's about this weird thing that happened at home the other day…" Sonic walked to the side of the path and sat down. Mario marched over and plopped right beside the blue blur. "I don't know how to… really describe it…" He put his face in his hands and brushed his spines back. "It was so… weird…"

Mario put a hand on Sonic's shoulder and handed him a chili dog. Where he got the chili dog, no one wants to know.

"'Kay… I'll do my best to tell you, I guess…" Sonic shuddered, but quickly regained composure when he took a big chomp out of the tasty treat. "So here's the thing… I was at home, it was late, and I had just finished binge-watching the latest season of _Kitchen Nightmares_."

Mario rolled his eyes. _Mama Mia…_ he internally groaned. _This better not be another food-related ghost hunt like last year's Christmas party…_

"I went to bed right after brushing my teeth and then it happened…"

"Hmm?"

"Well… you're never going to believe this, but… when I turned over after a few minutes, I saw you at the foot of my bed."

"That's quite the odd occurrence! I certainly wasn't at your house last night. I had-a oboe practice!"

Sonic gulped down another bite. "It only gets more and more bizarre. Shortly afterwards, you dealt me some cards and demanded to play a game. I refused, just out of the uneasiness I was feeling, rather than the absurdity of the petition. I quickly returned to my side and dozed off, hoping it was all some weird dream."

"Was it?"

"Strangely enough, I think it was. But then something out of nowhere happened. When I went to the icebox for some chili dog-falvoured milk, I found a note attached to my chili dog-flavoured orange juice. It said: 'It's-a your turn!'"

"Mama mia!" Mario stood straight up in sheer disbelief.

"Mario, I'm frightened…" Sonic started to cry.

"No tears, pal! You'll be okay. I'll round up my brother and some other Smashers and we'll keep watch tonight for you!"

"Thanks. I'd really appreciate it, guy…" Sonic smiled and Mario gave him one more last fist bump before heading off to Yoshi's. They spent the rest of the day beating the snot out of the little green dino boy, a favourite pastime of theirs.

… … … … … …

Later that night, Mario, Luigi, Captain Falcon, and Link stood watch in front of Sonic's house. Sonic was very grateful and had a good night's sleep. When he awoke the next morning, everything was just the same. No mysterious notes or midnight threats had invaded his privacy.

"I guess you scared off whoever that culprit was, Mario…" said Sonic.

"Yeah, now let's just hope you are all-a set for now. The guys and me have a free-for-all scheduled at noon. See ya later, Sonic!"

"Bye, have a beautiful time!" said Sonic. He waved happily as his friends left. However, he still felt a tad uneasy about the whole deal. He quickly ran inside and sat on the toilet for three hours due to downing an entire bottle of chili dog-flavoured ketchup juice the other night. It was slow and excruciatingly painful. When he finally exited it was already dark out once again.

"Um… that's weird. It's only quarter past noon…" Sonic slid into the kitchen and took a quick peek. He saw a chili dog-flavoured chili dog on the table. He tiptoed over to it and inhaled it. Everything was fine… it appeared.

Suddenly the door to the kitchen slammed shut behind Sonic. Sonic gasped and ran over. It was locked! "What in tarnation is going on here?" he growled worriedly.

A high-pitched Italian voice started cackling behind him. Sonic turned and saw a flat, cartoonish image of Mario shuffling a deck of cards at the table. He neatly dealt seven cards to Sonic and to himself and beckoned for the hedgehog to take a seat. Sonic obeyed and picked up his hand.

"Oh! You're so good!" said Mario in a low-quality, choppy-sounding voice.

"What's going on, Mario?" said Sonic as he gulped. He looked down at his cards and shivered.

"Great! I'mma like-a… Go Fish?"

Sonic breathed out a long exasperated sigh and tried to stay fixated on his hand. It was no use talking to the home-invader right now. Things were barely making sense as is. "So who goes… first?" he finally said after Mario's piercing gaze got the best of him.

"I'mma go first-a!" Several seconds passed before he spoke again. "Please give me your… Bowzers."

Sonic didn't question the distinct "Z" in Mario's command and relinquished the Bowzer card in his hand. It was the plumber's turned again.

"I'mma feeshing for… Koopas!"

Sonic gave up his Koopa card.

"Do you have any… Luigis?"

Sonic forked over his Luigi card.

"I'mma looking for… Bob-Ombs!"

Sonic didn't have this card…

"Um…" Sonic said shakily. "I… I don't have one, Mario."

No response, just a chilling stare.

"Uh… go fish?"

Still no response.

"Mario… Go fish."

"Looks like it's time to go fishing again!" Mario shifted his hand over to the deck to retrieve his penalty card. He instantly returned his gaze to the hedgehog. "It's-a your turn!"

Sonic shuddered and looked down at his cards. "Do you have any… Rexes?"

"Go fish!"

Sonic grabbed a card and awaited Mario's next move.

"Please give me your… Princesses!"

"Mario… Go fish…"

"Come here, fishy-fishy!" Mario then flew up from the table and reached his entire arm into Sonic's right nostril. "HERE FISHY-FISHY!" Moments later, Mario yanked Sonic's literal soul out from the depths of his nasal cavities and shoved it into his pile of cards. Sonic fell lifeless to the ground.

"That's another book for Mario!" Mario said happily as he placed down his stack of four cards. "I got what I asked for!"

THE END


End file.
